LIVES WITH SEX OFFENDER

Toronto Sun
Sun, March 26, 2006  
By Mark Bonokoski
Divorced dad horrified to have his daughter live with a sex-offender

A divorced dad is horrified to learn his 7-year-old  girl must share her mother's home with mom's  boyfriend -- a convicted sex offender

 COBOURG -- There are few secrets in  small towns such as this, and therefore there  were many whispers at various water coolers  when the local newspaper told the tale of a man  being sentenced to house arrest for sexually  molesting his teenaged stepdaughter's best  friend.

But sometimes two and two take their  time adding up.  In the case of one father, it took almost  five weeks before all the rumours swirling about  were confirmed -- that, horror of horrors, his 7-  year-old daughter was living in the same house  where the house arrest was being served.  Indeed, the convicted sex offender in the  newspaper was the same man who had been  living with his ex-wife for the past two years,  and therefore the man who was ultimately  sharing the joint custody of his child.  But could he get his daughter out of  harm's way? Would the Children's Aid see any  absurdity in these living arrangements, or the  inherent danger in a 7-year-old child having an  admitted sex offender as an authority figure?  Would the courts?

Courts no help
The answer to both questions is no.  "All I am asking is for one of two things  to happen," said the girl's father. "Either give me  full custody of my daughter or get him out of  that house.  "Right now my daughter is living with a  sex offender. She's at a vulnerable age, and he is  what he is.  "He even pleaded guilty to being what he  is."

The 39-year-old accused appeared here  before Justice Rhys Morgan back in January,  with a publication ban enacted so that the name  of his victim could be protected.  That ban, in turn, has the downside of also  protecting the identity of the accused -- which,  in turn, prohibits the father of the 7-year-old  girl, as well as any interested media, from  putting any names into play.

'None of this is real'
"So everything has to an anonymous,"  says the father. "It's as if none of this is real, and  none of it happened.  "But it did happen, and my daughter is  living with a sex offender who is under house  arrest until mid-April.  "How could this possibly be okay?"  According to Crown prosecutor David  Thompson, the assault occurred when the  accused found himself alone with his  stepdaughter's best friend late one evening. He  began fondling her as they watched television.  At another time, he masturbated in front  of a web camera when he believed the girl was  watching.

She was 14.  

It was a pang of guilt which eventually  had him confess his actions to his girlfriend --  the mother of the 7-year-old in this story -- but it  was an unnamed third party who took it to the  police, who in turn laid the charges.  Divorced dad horrified to have his daughter live with a sex-offender  Page 2 of 2  In the end, Justice Morgan sentenced him  to three months of house arrest with counselling.  He was also ordered to surrender a DNA sample  for the national data bank and have his name  added to the sex offender registry.  His house arrest lockdown, in fact, is  virtually 24/7.  He is allowed out for three hours on Saturdays to run errands and he has Sunday mornings to attend church.

To cap it off, he has a non-communication order when it comes to his victim.  But he has no restrictions -- absolutely  none -- when it comes to contact with either the 15-year-old stepdaughter who was the victim's  best friend or the 7-year-old little girl who, because of a joint custody order, lives under his roof one week out of every two.

There was no attempt here to contact the  Children's Aid about its side of the story or why,  for example, it has apparently seen no problem in having a 7-year-old girl living in the same  house as a convicted sex offender who doesn't  even have the hook of a blood relationship.  Privacy laws  Privacy laws prevent the agency from  talking specifics.

Even the father knows this. When he went  to the Children's Aid to inquire whether the man  in the newspaper was the same man his ex-wife and daughter were living with, he was told the agency was legally unable to either confirm or  deny.

All this was when small-town whispers were at their peak.  The father who wants his young daughter out of that house, and with seemingly justifiable  reasons, has had a shared parenting agreement  and joint custody of the child for five years. He  has a steady job. He has no criminal record.  "Yet," he says, "everywhere I turn to get  my daughter out of the house, I get the door  slammed in my face.

"Put it this way: Would you want your child living with that man? Would you?  "Sure, I've thought of keeping her with  me," he says. "But what would happen then? I'd  be charged with kidnapping or failing to comply  with a court order. And then I'd never see her  again.  "Men don't win those sort of court  battles," he says. "Women win those battles. Regardless."

In recent days, however, it has gotten  worse.

Moved out of town
The man's ex-wife, along with her  convicted sex-offender boyfriend, have packed up and moved the entire family to Peterborough because they have supposedly "found God," and the church where that "God" exists is apparently nowhere else to be found but in Peterborough.  Even the lawyer who represented the  man's ex-wife and helped with the shared parenting and joint-custody agreement regarding their 7-year-old child has had enough.  Her client's move to Peterborough was the  last straw.

"She does not seem to grasp the seriousness of the issue," the lawyer wrote, indicating that she would no longer be representing the woman in any further legal proceedings.  In the meantime a 7-year-old little girl  wakes up in the morning with a sex offender in the house.

And today, being Sunday, they'll be off to church.

mark.bonokoski@tor.sunpub.com or  416-947-2445