NEGLECT DAMAGING

Neglect damaging to children
www.report.ca
Report magazine - Nov. 19, 2001
A national study finds neglect is more damaging to children than physical or sexual abuse
by Candis McLean

SENSATIONAL media coverage to the contrary, the most widespread form of child abuse in Canada is neglect. Moreover, neglect is more devastating than either sexual or physical abuse, according to the first national study of Reported Child Abuse and Neglect released this spring. "Neglect is chronic and ongoing rather than an isolated occurrence as is abuse," explains lead author Nico Trocme, a social work professor at the University of Toronto whose study examined 3,200 children abandoned by their parents in 1998. "Children under three who are not loved and paid attention to lack the stimulation of interaction critical to emotional, social and language skills. This in turn affects their ability to interact with peers. The child becomes withdrawn or needy and gives off cues that turn other children off. One study found even preschool children could identify some of the neglected children - they didn't want to play with them."

Simon Fraser University psychology professor Charles Crawford says it has been trendy for groups to exaggerate the rates and seriousness of physical and sexual abuse in order to fight political battles. Mere neglect is less sensational. In studies with chimps, he points out, researcher Jane Goodall found that when the child of a dominant mother is attacked, she intervenes immediately. Those further down the social scale have no protectors to intervene. "Similarly, all sorts of things happen to kids who have no warm clothes or lunch. Periodical abuse is not as bad as no support year after year."

Down through the ages, neglect has been typical of very few thriving human societies. Another modern phenomenon we should be suspicious of because it was virtually unknown in the past is fragmented child care, according to Prof. Crawford's former research assistant, Judith Anderson. She points to data collected from 186 cultures before they were influenced by the modern world, suggesting the importance of continuity. "Biological parents, particularly mothers, were nearly always involved with the child until the age of seven, while others involved in child care are nearly always close relatives who will be intimately involved in the child's life for the long term. Modern parents are happy to get a great nanny for a year. But for the child, her leaving means losing a precious person."

It is the same with institutionalized daycare, Ms. Anderson says, where children are often given a new set of caregivers every year. "It looks efficient, but we haven't looked at the long-term effects. There is lots of room for differences in child-rearing practices, but it may be unwise to encourage practices that vary widely from those seen universally in human societies." Her advice? Look for caregivers in it for the long term.

After 20 years' experience, Toronto nanny Leoline Moston is in complete agreement. She recalls working for one family for two years. Refused a $50 per month pay raise she desperately required, she found another job. When she returned to babysit one evening, three-year-old Blair, although exhausted, refused to go to sleep. "He said, 'If I go to sleep, you'll go away,'" she recounts sadly. "I had to tell him, 'I'll be here,' so he'd relax. Of course when he woke up I wasn't there. Why couldn't his parents have recognized the importance of continuity and given me another $50? They certainly spend that much each month on show."

Fewer mothers return to work

AT the same time that neglect is being recognized as more damaging than abuse, a U.S. study has found for the first time a downturn among mothers returning to work during the first year of their child's life. More than 55% of women who gave birth between July 1999 and June 2000 returned to work within a year of having a baby, down from a record high of 59% in 1998.

"Perhaps women are discovering they can't have it all, they can only kill themselves trying," speculates Marion Mann, a Calgary mother of two teenagers. "Or they've seen their mothers killing themselves trying and said, 'Yes, she achieved all this. But I wish I knew her'." Ms. Mann believes even more women will choose to spend more time with their families following the events of September 11, which she feels have made many re-examine priorities.

Ann Woodruff, a Calgary mother of six, finds many of her daughters' friends staying home with young children, rebelling against their mothers' hectic lifestyles. "They have to get used to less income - going back to basics," she says. "But perhaps people are realizing kids need you there; they don't need a showboat."