HUNTING WHAT?

February 16, 2006  
My thoughts on quail hunting and abortion  
By Mike S. Adams  

In my thirteen years as a college professor, I've never seen joy and  celebration that rivals the response to Dick Cheney's hunting accident. Of  course, that's really saying something. Bringing American professors to  laughter is nearly as tough as bringing American feminists to orgasm. It's a  theoretical possibility that is seldom achieved without a workshop.  

The liberal reaction to Cheney's accident may vary slightly from liberal to  liberal but there is one common characteristic; namely, these liberals feel  morally superior because they've never shot someone on a hunting trip.  

Of course, the fact that the dancing liberals have never gone hunting doesn'  t seem to attenuate these feelings of moral superiority. Similar logic would  lead a 12-year-old to brag about his clean driving record or a blind man to  boast that he's never downloaded pornography.  

But, I have a serious question to ask all these gleeful liberals while the  Cheney story is still in the headlines: How does a) the accidental  near-taking of human life compare with b) the actual (and intentional)  taking of human life, in conjunction with recreational activity?  

Whether your favorite sport is casual sex or quail hunting, the answer to  this question is important. It is a given that the anti-gun lobby will try  to use this accident to impose new restrictions on hunters and gun owners.  But, rather than go after the hunters, I would insist that we place the  following limitations on abortion. These restrictions will help foster  gender equality - a goal I share with the American feminists:  

1. Abortion season. Presently, a hunter (in North Carolina, where I reside)  is able to harvest a quail or pheasant only between October 1st and March  31st. I propose that an abortion season be established for six months of  every year. This would be a good compromise in a country torn between the  pro-choice and pro-life positions.  

2. Bag limit. I would also propose that women be limited to a maximum of  three abortions in a lifetime. This will help us considerably in our human  conservation efforts. Also, when the Islamic terrorists start to attack the  homeland, it is important to ensure that the feminists have not aborted the  armies we need to defend our nation. Just look at what's happening in  Europe.  

3. Negligence citations. When a hunter pulls the trigger without knowing  what is in the line of fire, he faces a possible citation. The same thing  should happen when someone pulls the trigger on an abortion without knowing  whether the object of the procedure is or is not a person. All of the women  who can't explain their position on this issue should be given a fine of no  more than $160 with no jail time.  

4. Dependency restrictions. When I see a young spotted deer next to a large  doe I hold my fire. I want to make sure that the fawn has a mother to nurse  it until it can take care of itself. For some reason, the liberals see  dependency differently. Rather than showing mercy to the dependent they use  dependency as a reason abort, often calling the fetus a "parasite." I think  that the pro-choice crowd should adopt the kinder stance used by deer  hunters. This will help to protect the young until after they graduate from  college.  

5. Abortion safety education. Anyone who is about to have an abortion should  take an abortion safety class. The students should be shown films of the  fetus inside the womb at three months. This will test their confidence in  the assertion that the fetus is "just a clump of cells." Women should also  be told about the miscarriages they may suffer after having one or more  abortions. Finally, they should be told to wear an orange cap and vest  during abortion season to let men know that their child will be aborted if  they get one of these women pregnant. The cap and vest would only be  required of women who believe that the man has no right to be involved in  the decision to abort.  

For what it's worth, those are my thoughts about the latest display of  liberal hypocrisy. We have enough restrictions on those who harvest quail.  It's time for more on those who harvest humans.  

Mike Adams, PhD, is a criminology professor at the University of North  Carolina at Wilmington and is a regular columnist for Townhall.com. His  column appears here with Mike Adams' express permission by special  arrangement with him. Dr. Adams is available for speaking engagements.  

C2005-06 Mike S. Adams