ABSURDITIES

Uncaring straights must be made to pay
By Michael Coren
Sun Media

Some interesting news about a float that will appear at the Summer Olympic Games in Australia.

It will feature a gang of white men wearing black makeup. They'll have white paint around their mouths to make their lips look big, and more around their eyes so they seem to be stupid and slow. They'll also have white gloves and loud suits and they'll be dancing a lot and singing those old spirituals the slaves used to love so much when they were worked to death on the plantations. They'll also play banjos and speak in absurd, broken English.

Offensive?

You bet it is. And if it were really happening it would be condemned, stopped, banned. But it's no more and no less offensive than other groups in society being equally parodied, caricatured and abused. Yet a float in Sydney will be full of transvestites, men dressed up as women. In other words, a bunch of neurotic exhibitionists dressing up in women's clothes, applying horrible masks of makeup and trotting around in high heels.

The women I know are beautiful, clever and unique. Their bodies are capable of that greatest of human achievements - childbirth. They do not speak in stupid, high-pitched voices and indulge in absurd, ostentatious gestures. They do not cultivate some bitchy persona and kiss everyone who passes by. They are not a public embarrassment.

If I were an Olympic athlete I would be ashamed and disgusted at the decision of the authorities and the sheer misogyny of these push-me-pull-you creatures. Steroids all 'round please.

But there is more than this that we are prepared to sacrifice on the great new altar of not in any way offending homosexuals and their friends. At a Los Angeles Dodgers baseball game a complaint was made about two lesbians who were passionately kissing one another in front of other people's children. The women were spoken to but apparently refused to stop. They were then asked to leave. As a result the full power of the homosexual lobby was unleashed.

The lesbians have received a grovelling apology, 5,000 baseball tickets have been given to the homosexual community in Los Angeles and sensitivity trainers have been brought in to deal with the attitudes of staff. There is also talk of people being fired.

The crime of those who asked the lesbians to behave themselves was to dare to sympathize with the parents of little children who went to see a ball game rather than an exhibition of sexual perversion. And such a crime is serious indeed in contemporary North America.

Let us be direct. Of course it is offensive to see women kissing each other. It might be the stuff of pornographic fantasy for a few sad and lonely men, but it is unacceptable behaviour for the vast majority of people. The onus should be on homosexuals to control their apparent urges rather than on parents to have to explain abhorrent and aberrant behaviour to their children.

Frankly, nor should a man and a woman kiss too intimately in front of strangers. In the heterosexual world, however, this is usually the preserve of spotty teenagers who want to impress their peers and elders. Whenever I have seen homosexuals kissing in public the intention usually seems to be the same. A need to be seen, to outrage, to behave like immature children.

We must now wait to see if the Dodgers will give away 5,000 tickets to handicapped people, poor people, any people other than those who want to have sex with members of their own gender.

Don't hold your breath.

And don't wait too long for the Democrats to admit what really happened at their national convention when a group of American Boy Scouts - children - was booed and shouted at by a mob of homosexual militants. The Scouts were on stage one night to hold the American flag. But the Scouts were also recently supported by the U.S. Supreme Court in their decision to prevent active homosexuals from becoming scoutmasters.

For this sin, some innocent, eager children were abused by people who, well, who only want to become scoutmasters, kiss at baseball games and possibly dress up as women and parade on a float. What a cruel and uncaring bunch we heterosexuals are.