SELF GRADUATION

Self Graduation
Barb Lundgren

The Dallas Morning News recently ran a five-part series on those most heinous of all criminals, high school dropouts. In response to the fifth article, "Stopping the Spiral," mother and homeschool parent Barb Lundgren submitted the following letter to the editor.

When my 17-year-old son "dropped out" of his senior year of high school this year (Grapevine-Colleyville ISD), we called it his "self-graduation" and threw him a monster party - a hundred supportive people of all ages were in attendance to share his decision. In his words, "Mom, the kids all hate school, the teachers all say it's unfair and I realized I had a choice."

My self-graduate is the only child of mine who chose to pursue an education in the formal classroom. He attended for four years and told me he "learned what he needed to learn" in school. Prior to his choosing to attend school he was an unschooler, as are his two siblings, ages 16 and 12, neither of whom have been drawn to education via the formal classroom called school.

I read your recent headlined article "Stopping the Spiral" and was immediately compelled to voice my opinion - and share my experience.

Your readership of both educating-seeking parents and students, as well as those struggling pupils and families will be pleased, maybe even thrilled, to learn that the classroom we call school is completely unnecessary - even irrelevant - to learning.

Let me tell you why kids - even the "smart" ones - don't like school. Let me tell you why school doesn't work for any but a rare few. It won't require a dissertation, not even a lengthy term paper. Babies, children, teens (and yes, even adults) want their voice heard. Simply put, they need someone to listen to them. They don't need to have their parents or educators or ministers speak for them, they need and want to speak. They do speak and each one of them has a powerful voice that must be heard - from birth on.

I'm not crazy. I got this notion to listen to my kids - their cries, their body language, wishes and desires - at birth. It was a challenge to be sure but I did it and I found it was amazing: each child had a voice that needed to be heard. I listened and they taught me about life and how it was meant to be lived. During the tempting preschool and "kindergarden round-up" years, I struggled with my desire to enroll them and "begin their education" but they told me they were learning, too, much at home - playing, singing, conversing, socializing, fantasizing. When they became officially school-age, I struggled again. I was raised to be a good girl and wanted "the best" education for each of them. Again, each of them told me they were happy and learning all they needed to learn at home. We traveled, did volunteer work, started and ended businesses, had fun, lots of fun.

My children are now 18, 16 and 12 and my 18-year-old is a self-graduate. My children have received a superior education, as I define it anyway. Their education is devoid of textbooks, tests and grades. As their parents and "teachers," we've never imposed a curriculum that we thought was best. The education my children have received has come solely from listening to them tell us what they want. (A bonus: none of them is spoiled.) For those of you unlucky enough not to have discovered this method of education, let me tell you what they want. They want to understand the world on their terms. They want to be listened to. They want their opinions and voice respected. They want their parents. When these basic human needs are met, the education begins. Cultures, religions, science, history, civic responsibilities and much more become the natural stomping ground of the unschooled, the autodidact, the self-educated. Children do this naturally. They do not need to be taught to learn or what to learn. They do not need adults, as well-meaning as they are, telling them what to do, when to do it, how to do it and evaluation them every step of the way. I promise. Try it. It's a great life for parents, children, self-graduates. (Another bonus: colleges are recruiting unschoolers like crazy.)

Barb Lundgren is a mother of 18 years to three unschooled children, all of whom have been teachers while she has tried to be a good student.